What is Abuse?

There are several kinds of abuse and each kind can take many different forms. Our society is so tolerant of abusive behavior that we often do not even recognize some behavior as abusive. Abuse can be divided into three categories: physical, sexual, and emotional.

Domestic abuse results in more injuries that require medical treatment than rape, auto accidents, and muggings combined.

Characteristics of an abusive relationship

  1. The couple may avoid being around others, often staying home or going out alone rather than in groups.
  2. One person appears to do the decision making for both people.
  3. Both people may avoid discussing how the relationship is going or may focus only on the good qualities, avoiding discussing problem areas.
  4. One person may be scape-goated and blamed for causing all of the problems.
  5. Abuse, such as yelling and name-calling, may be openly observed and marks or bruises may be noticed on one person.
  6. One person may exhibit jealousy toward the other or may accuse the other of infidelity.
  7. The couple openly experiences intense and sometimes violent arguments.
  8. One person attempts to isolate the other from others and may even sabotage friendships to prevent the significant other from receiving support.
  9. One person may be quiet and not call attention to self unless told to do so by the significant other.
  10. Communication appears unhealthy, ineffective, and one-sided.
  11. One person may begin to do something that the other person clearly does not want to do, such as engaging in sexual behavior.

DO BATTERED WOMEN EVER FEEL LIKE THEY’RE CRAZY?

Many abusers are good at manipulating women into thinking they are crazy. The abuser may be a “nice person” to everyone else, so other people tell her how lucky she is that they are together. When the abuser hits her and tells her it’s her fault, it’s hard not to believe since no one else makes the abuser so angry. Also, things may be hidden from her deliberately and then she is blamed for losing them. She comes to doubt her own sanity and loses track of what’s “real.”